Gratitude Challenge Day 17

Day 17 is I am thankful for the trials and tests that God puts me through. I am so hurt right now. But i know that I wouldn't be so bad off if I hadnt left God. I have been failing the tests that He has been giving me. And I have been too dumb to even realize it. Why is it that I gotta wait until i am at my breaking point to turn back to God. He doesnt leave me its me leaving Him. God gives me trials to make me a better person and a better christian. romans 8:28 tells me that. I got a good spanking from Him today. I needed it. I am taking my shattered heart to Him. He is my friend. And a better friend than me. He sticks by me and even though I ditch Him when i dont think that I need Him at the moment He is still standing there with his arms held wide open waiting to embrace me with His loving arms. Part of the reason of why I am so hurt is because I feel betrayed by a "friend" but maybe i needed that to happen to me because I have been betraying God and ignoring Him. Oh these trials are heartbreaking sometimes and they are hard and tough but God never does promise me that it is going to be easy. He promises to be a good friend and stick with me and by me. I need to start striving to be more like Him. a better friend. And even though i feel betrayed that dont give me the reason to dish out the same treatment or even allow the problem to linger. What if God did that to me? then who could I go to? I have heard of the saying over and over again "what goes around comes around" but why? if we are hurting as bad as we are then why would we want that for someone else? that is cruel but that is the way that it often goes. I am so thankful that God doesnt do that to me. I am making the decision once again to start running toward His open arms rather than running away. And through the hurt and the pain to embrace what God is doing for me and being a good friend that no matter what people can come to me. I know I am probably rambling in this post but thats ok too...So for day 17 I am thankful for trials and tests that God gives me. It made me see what I have been doing and not doing and also made me realize that I have been failing these tests and i keep receiving more trials and tests so why not start passing them with flying colors. They are there to make me stronger and a better person and christian now it is time for me to start becoming one!