JET and ME

Well it has been a LONG time since I have posted. One of the things that i want to try to be more faithful at is blogging again. I don't care how many people read what I write but I write because it helps me. Well I have let that slip bad.

Anyways. JET is here. He was born on July 19th and weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces and was 19 inches long. He is a healthy little boy and he thinks he is starving all the time lol. He is definately a mommas boy. He reminds me so much of his big sissy NeNe. They were close in birth stats and she is a major mommas girl. My other 2 are a daddys boy and a daddys girl. At least they were split evenly. LOL. 2 for daddy and 2 for mommy.

The surgery didnt go fantastic tho. I think I had an allergic reaction to some meds or something. I don't know exactly what happened and neither does the dr. He did say that it was very unusual to get an awful migrine in the middle of a surgery though. I was talking to my hubby and i heard the dr say "its a boy" and i got a headache and as i was asking about the headache it got way worse. my head started pounding and i was blacking out literally. all i was seeing was black and red. I couldnt see anything. not even my husband who was standing next to me. it was scary and they kicked him out and i was panicking which when they kicked him out it only made me panic all the more because i wanted him there but the dr said he had to go. they ended up putting me to sleep because i was panicking so bad and kept blacking out. I dont remember even going to the recovery room at all. When i woke up i woke up in my room and had a migraine then too. I have been battling some pretty rough headaches since the surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago. the dr is even trying me on caffeine which i havent had in over 6 years for other health issues. it doesnt seem to do much except cause the rest of my body pain. I'm not really sure if there is anything that can be done. Tylenol don't touch it and neither does a much stronger pain pill. So i suppose i will just be living with it. I can honestly say that I had a good natural birth, a bad natural birth, a good c-section, and a bad c-section. So when asked the question "which is better or easier? natural birth or c-section?" Well it really just depends. As a general rule natural is the better way to go. I just happened to be one of those weird women who gone through a good one and a bad one in both natural and surgery. But I am so thankful that God took care of me in all 4 deliveries. Before we had Jet my hubby and I talked to the dr (3 different ones actually) and we were told that it wouldnt be a good idea for me to have anymore because of health reasons. So got fixed permanently. There is a little part of me that is thankful since the last surgery was so rough but there is a huge part of me that is struggling with the permanence of it. Don't get me wrong I am very blessed and grateful for my 4 beautiful babies. I have always wanted 4 and we werent sure we would have our 4. And I am grateful that we wont have to suffer through another miscarraige. 2 was more than enough. But there is something about it being permament that breaks my heart. We can no longer decide to have another one down the road. I don't really know how to explain what I am feeling. But What's done is done. I am very blessed. I have been struggling with some things here lately and it has me really down so i would appreciate the prayers. I keep everything to myself and I am just really struggling. Weight Loss Journey. Yes it is back on. I am going back on my eating healthy again. And then in October I will be adding my wii fit back in. I have enough time to lose the 60 pounds that I want to lose between October and the end of April. I want to be able to wear whatever wedding dress i choose and look nice in it and feel like i look nice in it. I am my biggest critic. Sometimes I think this is so stupid I am already married...have been for 6 years going on 7 and I want to be able to look nice in a wedding dress???? seriously that is such a waste of money and the people (if anyone shows up) are gonna think it is so stupid. I didn't get to have the wedding of my dreams nor wear a wedding dress and have that fairytale wedding i dreamed of because of my decisions that i made and it cost me in this area. but ive already been married for 6 years and i want to have a big splashy wedding? for what? i have a house that needs majorly repaired and my kids school, and we could use that money where it is needed in other places and here i am wanting to waste money on a stupid dream wedding. I feel like this is only taking away from my kids and I feel horrible about it and I feel like others will only think its just a waste of time and money and i dont know. one of the things i am struggling with. Back to positivity again...I cant believe that my oldest baby is starting school in just a week!! its crazy. I am probably gonnaa be one of those crazy mommas that cries after I leave him lol. My babies are growing up sooo fast and i dont like it LOL. But I trust his teachers and I know that they will do their best in teaching him from an edcuational standpoint and a spritual standpoint. Well I am off to go watch the Biggest Loser on netflix lol. Motivation for when I can add exercise to my losing weight. In all seriousness Please pray for me that i can lose this weight and be happy with my size. God bless, Jenny Love

*EXCITING NEWS*

I haven't gotten to post in awhile because for some reason my computer wont let me log into my blog so that I can. But I can log in from my hubby's computer.

Well we found out that we are having a baby boy!! He is due on July 27th but we are scheduled to have him July 19th. We are calling him JET. We didn't just intentionally keep it a secret indefinately about us expecting. We just wanted to hear or see the heartbeat or at least know something before we told again. With just having the miscarriage I was afraid of having to go back and retract and tell everyone that we lost the baby. We went to the dr February 1st but it was just weird. He didnt do anything but blood work and schedule the ultrasound for the next visit. He didn't use the doppler or anything. So we knew nothing more than when we went. It took forever to get medicaid straight. Then we went back March 1st and that is when we first seen the heartbeat and found out to our shock that we were 19 weeks and having a boy. We texted and called and updated as many as we could the moment we found out. As soon as we had something to share we shared it. There was only a handful of people who knew about the baby before the dr's appointment and that was because i was so terrified about having to tell everyone that we lost our baby...again...

Well now we are on the hunt of finding boy thing for our little man. Today i am 23 weeks and 4 days. Which leaves us with 15 weeks and 2 days til the baby is scheduled to arrive. I have hardly any of the little stuff. At Rhea Lana's I mainly focused on getting the big stuff like the car seat, and the stroller, and the swings, and high chair. I still don't have a closet thingy to hang up any of the clothes that we actually do have (which aint very many), diapers, diaper wipes, BOTTLES,bedding set, etc. I let myself get overwhelmed thinking about it. I am praying that we can get everything before he arrives.

My baby girl ZZ just turnned 2 yesterday. WOW time flies by so fast!!! it is crazy. Today she is moving into a toddler bed. MY BABY IS GROWING UP ON ME. Jr is gonna be 5 in May and NeNe is gonna be 4 in October. Jr starts school in August and i am having a hard time dealing with that too. Since I wont be released from the dr the hubby is gonna skype me in at his first day of school and take LOTS of pictures. LOL i am probably gonna be one of them crazy mommas i always made fun of HAHA and be crying when he starts school. wonder if i can blame it on just having a baby and my hormones are out of whack?? HAHA

Well we have missions conference and Easter to get ready for so off to go do that!!

Jenny Love

JibberJabber

Wow it is almost the end of January already :0 this month has been going by quickly. I am just thinking about the things ahead for this year...My little man turns 5 at the end of May. Where did the time go???? It is so crazy to me and hard to fathom that he will be starting school this august. But he will be and I think it will be really good for him too. Although it will be something to get used to that he will be gone during the day during the school week learning. But I am excited to get to hear about his day went at school and what he learned :) But i still have a few more months to get ready for his 1st day of school. I will probably be one of those crazy mommas that cry on his first day after he leaves haha. Oh well. NeNe turns 4 in October. And ZZ turns 2 in April. CRAZY how fast they grow up. God really has blessed me alot with these 3 kiddos. Is it always easy? of course not but God has blessed me. I wouldnt know what to do without my 3 babies.

I havent done so good with my healthier eating...I really should be ashamed because i havent even been trying. It's sad but true. But i am determined to start after girls night!.. I aint gotta be perfect at it but at least i can try. PRAY FOR ME PLEASE!

In the toddler Sunday School class we have been doing the days of creation...1 each week. The kids and I have been having a lot of fun with it. Next we will be doing the fruit of the spirit but we still have 4 more weeks left of creation.

My hubby and i still have an unspoken that we just cant share yet. Maybe soon. But in the meantime prayers are appreciated.

Well i am off to go spend some time with my hubby and the kiddos. I love when my hubby is off :) and i love my family so very much :) I really dont have a lot to blog about today haha.

New Year's Resolutions...

Wow...2012 already. I guess thats time to set some new years resolutions...please pray that i actually stick to them. I REALLY REALLY need to lose weight. i HATE the way i look. To do that requires eating healthy. I am going to focus on eating healthier right now...i also want to focus on being more positive which i think will actually help me in my healthy eating. i dont want to just say i am gonna eat healthy i want to actually do it. To go with them i want to become more faithful with my daily devotions and prayer life which again will help with me eating healthy and positivity. This is something that not only do i want to do but something i NEED to do. Everything started today but the healthy eating...the healthy eating will begin on the 2nd because of my hubbys food tradition he does on new years day. Please please pray for me cuz i really need them. I have something heavy on my heart and mind and i cant share just yet but i am a major worrier and I really just need to give it to God because He is the one who is in control. There are new blessings in store for me this year and I am ready to receive them. And ready to make me a better me. Mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. God has and is so good to me.

Jenny Love