Heartaches And Blessings...

It seems like when i am the most stressed thats when i get "hurt" the most. Not physically but emotionally. It's a good thing that i am reading in James one about temptations and trials. Well i am still working on that. I want so badly for my unspoken to be fixed. I can't say what it is for fear it might make things worse. It breaks my heart though. And i just wanna be given a chance and be a part of lives. but moving on... On top of that my 9 month old daughter got burned as most know from scalding water that i set down not knowing it was in her reach. Oh i have tried and some days or moments rather to not let it get to me or blame myself but there are moments when i really stressed that i kick myself and beat myself up pretty bad. Then my hubbalicious had a colonoscopy done yesterday morning and when i was confident that it was figured out what was wrong with him we were told that he was misdiagnosed...add that with a sick baby girl running 101-104 fever for 2 nights and no sleep yeah stress was so happening. Sometimes it feels like my heart is about to explode and when i think i have no more tears more seem to flow. Please dont mistake me i dont want sympathy or a pity party i just want prayers and i need them desperately.

But having said the heartache i have to say the blessings as well. Even through being blessed God is giving me more trials. As a friend said "God never gives us more than we can handle but he sure stack the plate pretty full sometimes." But through it all God's been good. I am trusting God to work the situation out even as much as i am hurting He is the one who can change and fix it. My daughter is healing so much faster than the dr's ever expected and thought possible. And i can even buy my hubby some snickers for valentine's day! He doesn't have diverticulitis. They found 2 polyps in his intestines and they removed those and sent them off for a biopsy. I am praying they come back good. They want to do an upper GI. I asked the dr if this was good or bad and he said in between as in we still dont know anything and hopefully we can find out soon.

Update on birdie...



She still has 3 spots that are open sores but are healing pretty fast as well. She is allowed to go outside now giving that she wears sunscreen under her clothes and has to have all her burned areas covered. we go back february 24th. She is doing so good!

My Little Z-Bird...Update

Today my father in law and my mother in law took me and zz to children's to get her bandages changed and her wounds cleaned up. She has more 3rd degree burns then they thought. But she looks so good and is doing so good that they didnt have to bandages back on. I almost wish they had though because now she is at more of a risk of infection but they know what they are doing and they said it is best for her to not having bandages on at all but we have to treat and clean her wounds and little body everyday at least 3 times a day and treat them. She cannot leave the house or my in-laws house (and if she even goes across the street to my in-laws house she has to be completely dressed in her loose clothing in all the places she has burned.) We also have to work with her neck because she has about an inch and half to 2 inches of a 3rd degree burn on her neck and it is in a place where if it gets stiff it could be bad so we have to work with it and make her stretch her neck and it only has be looking at us and things like that so nothing too difficult. It still looks nasty but it will for awhile and the redness will go away in about a year to a year and a half. We have to give her at least 4 ounces of pedialyte a day and as much formula as she will drink and try to get her to eat things with protein. And we do that until we go back next monday. We will go from there. But thank you so much for all of your prayers!

Now today i found out exactly how much that El Dorado saved my little girl's life. I knew that she was this sick gray color like death gray. And i knew that her body temp was really low and i knew that she was dehydrated. And i dont know if i didnt put it together or what but today as the burn drs were doing her discharge and giving me the info they told me that when she was in El Dorado when she was brought in that she wasnt breathing because the burns had caused her lungs to swell and it blocked her airway. I told this to my hubby and he said that he knew but he didnt say anyting because i was upset as it was and so he just kept it to his self. It was probably a good thing because i dont know how well i wouldve been able to handle it a week ago. But as it was i balled like a baby. If it wasn't for the dr's at El Dorado and for all of the prayers that my little birdie got she wouldnt be here. God really is good. I do so much appreciate all of the prayers. please keep them coming.

tonight I had to clean her burns and treat them myself and have to do it 3x a day. well tonight was the first time. it broke m heart. I think that I cried about as much as she did. It was so hard. I hated seeing her in so much pain but it had to be done. It was so hard. But it is what the dr told me i had to do for her health and so i continued. After i got her cleaned up I had to calm her down and io finally got her to sleep. Then i just balled.

Please continue to pray because I know that there is a long road ahead of her. The burn dr's said that it will feel like she has a sunburn for a awhile and she will be really tender. Thank you again!

Love,
Jenny

Generosity and Gratitude

I just want to thank everybody for their generosity. For the money, the gas for the vehicles, and for the prayers. Also I want to thank my hubbys boss, Jeff, I found out today that he offered to take my hubby;s work schedule so that he could be with his baby but of course my pigheaded hubby (whom i love very much) turned it down because he said we just couldn't afford it. Which is true. He was torn. But just the thought was SUPER SWEET. So Jeff opened for him so that he could get an extra hour or so of sleep. Couldn't have asked for a sweeter boss. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

When we came up here our biggest worries were how can we afford this? we are already broke. and things. but here we are...not having to worry about is hubby gonna be off for the dr appointments? answer: no, because he has a good boss who works with and around him. Are we gonna have food to eat? Yes, because people brought that to me. Can we afford the meds and other needs? yes, because so many gave us love offerings and donations. God has been so so so so good to us. And i am so very thankful for everyone. I couldnt have been blessed with better people in my life!

ZZ has been doing so good. thank you for the prayers, time, and many many blessings and thoughts! i will update some more later :)

My Little Birdie

So I am sure that everyone is wondering...what the devil happened and what are they gonna do and how is she doing? Well I will tell ya...

As most know my oldest 2 are potty training. I went and took jr and nene to potty and discovered that nene (who rarely has accidents) had an accident. I stripped her down (all the while my water was on to boil) got her some new jammies. then i sent nene to the livingroom and went to the kitchen and poured a mason jar of boiling water and threw a teabag in it and headed to the livingroom. well i set the glass down on the table between the chairs and starting getting nene dressed. as i was pulling her panties up zz came around me...stood up and tipped the glass all over her. I scrame as loud as i could for jonathan to come help me and we stripped her down as fast as we could and we seen her skin was falling over...hubby wrapped her in the snuggie and ran as quickly as he could (being on ice) and asked his momma what we are supposed to do. her papaw wrapped a cold towel around her and we rushed her to the hospital. Stephen and papaw watched the oldest 2 and off we went. She is burnt from her neck to the top of her hootie. the whole front. And on half of her right arm.

Once at the hospital in a matter of 5 minutes (she dumped it on her around 10:55 pm and we were at the hospital at 11 pm) they rushed her to the ER and discovered that she was dehydrated and body temp was low...yes it happened that fast...she was like a nasty gray color. well by the time they got her to CVICU where she received 24 hour care from midnight sunday night til 11 am tuesday morning. Angel One came and airlifted her to Children's Hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas. They tried to get her right away but with the bad weather they couldn't drive by ambulance or airlift her. But the El Dorado doctors and nurses stayed on the phone and found out what the best thing to do for her. They ordered some special gauze from the pharmacy and bandaged and wraped her up. then bundled her up. They forced a cathedar in so that they could monitor her fluid and after MANY MANY MANY iv's they finally called an anastheisiolgist (or however you spell that) in and put a central line in in her juggler artery. All of her veins kept blowing. They tried all of these areas: both hands...both arms, both wrists, both feet on the top, both feet in the heel, in her groin, and even in the top of her hootie...and they all went bad in an hour or less...and that was how they were trying to give her fluids but they couldnt draw her blood. So the man came in and put it in her neck.

She was set to go. Hubby had to go to work (yes even after being up all night and the day before too) at 4:30 in the morning because they couldnt get a replacement in the bad weather. So me and Squish (my mother in law) stayed up all night in the CVICU and waiting room. After they got her out of critical condition (but critical enough to need 24 hour care) they allowed squish to come in the CVICU room with me and we both got to stay in there and when hubby got off he came in there for a few minutes then went home to nap in case we were able to go to to childrens and he had to drive. well it ended up that the weather was just too bad and they put it off till tuesday.

Well we home and got some sleep after they set her up in the NICU with her private nurse. ( i was up for over 40 hours straight and squish and hubby didnt get much sleep either if any).

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Tuesday morning the nurse called and said that angel flight was on their way to come get my daughter (which by the way her real name is Faithe-Makenzie Jazzlyn Love or ZZ or birdie as her nicknames...) So off we go...we kissed the oldest 2 bye and we went to the hospital (they are doing good they are with the in-laws). We signed the papersm they doped her up on morphine and off they went. We follwed behind them in the van. They called us as we were still driving to tell us that she made it safely and was playing with a toy helicopter. We were like YES!



We get to the hospital and find out that this toy helicopter is a stuffed helicopter that mimicks angel one and is half the size of her. LOL. But she loves that toy. we were picturing a hot wheels size helicopter but nope lol.

Here after waiting a few hours we talk to the burn doctors and they tell us that she will be ok with no permanent damage or scarring. Also the burn were mostly 2nd degree but a few spots are 3rd degree. She cant have anything to eat or drink after 2 am. They are supposed to come in around 9 in the morning and sedate her then take to go scrape off the dead skin and medicate them and bandage them. From there they will take her to recovery. We will stay here til Wednesday and they will change her bandages. We will get to go home if everything goes good. Then a week later we will come back childrens and they will change her bandages. Then go home and come back in another week for checkup...do this until they clear her. They said it will take about 2 weeks to heal so we shouldnt have to take a trip more than 3 times if i understand right. And depending on how quickly she heals. She has played a little after they give her morphine so it knocks the pain out quickly. And it just breaks my heart to see her in so much pain and tears streaming down her beautiful face...





Well I am super tired and im gonna go and try to get some rest. Thank you all for your many many many prayers. Hubby has to go home around 4 wednesday afternoon because he has to work thursday thru sunday. He will come back up her monday and tuesday. so please pray for travel safety for him. and my father in law is bringing my mother in law to stay with me while They are also gonna travel with the oldest 2 and i believe my brother in law and sister in law for a visit. the babies cant see her but i will get to go see them while papaw and mamaw stay with birdie and visit. Oh how i miss my babies. Goodnight and i will update when i can.