The Joke Is On Us

Ok warning this could get to be a tad graphic but this is MY blog and i will write what i want...

I have been really hurting and "sick" (not morning sickness either) for a week. but the last 3 days...saturday, sunday, and monday i was in extreme pain...i am pretty good at staying calm and and faking it til i make it...and sunday i definately did a good job at it lol. Anyways yesterday i was in soooooooooooooooooooo much pain lower back, pelvic area, stomach it was just about unbearable. and jonathan was working yesterday til 4 and then had to go get the tire fixed after that. and i was hurting really bad and he said he would stay home from class but i told him no i would be ok until he got home. i made it til 6 what was 3 more hours? I told him the best way i could describe the pain was like when i was in labor those last 2 weeks of nene and i was in just so much pain. i even counted the intense pain it was 30 seconds every 3 minutes. and he made the joke about well if its every 10 seconds call me and go to the hospital. (background...jr was playing basketball with stephen and his pants fell down and we all started laughing. he looked at us all with a stoned shocked face and said "this is not funny" lol) so i told my hubby in the words of jr "this is not funny" and we were laughing. and i was like im not pregnant besides i took a test 3 weeks ago and it said not pregnant. so we laughed and he gave me a pain pill and his mom and brother came and got the kids (which im so glad they werent home). I fell asleep in the recliner and about 8:30 pm (i coulda been hallucinating from the pain pill LOL) i swear i saw the ninja mouse (more about that later LOL) sitting on the foot rest of the recliner staring at me when i woke up. Well i had to go pee and as i was getting up lets just say stuff starting falling out...large handsized amounts...(i had been passing quarter size clots all day) but this was WAY worse. So i quickly gathered it up and texted squish to come over to my house now!! and she came a running (i know i freaked my daddy in law out but i tried to warn him to stay on the porch...he is just a stubborn man...bet he wishes he wasnt so stubborn now LOL) and seen what was in my hand a HUGE and i mean HUGE blood clot (but we wasnt sure what it was)(on a shirt actually). i go change clothes and off we go to the ER and my texting queen sis in law texted everyone and squish starting making phone calls and hubby rushed to the ER from class.

We sat in the room a few hours and im still passing huge clots and they are drawing blood and running tests...then about 10 or 11 they came in and said that i was between 6 and 10 weeks pregnant and had miscarried. i was like WHAT!!!!!????? no way. i was trying to prevent it and i was trying to lose weight and get ready for the wedding renewal. I was just in total shock. after they left i just started crying on my hubby blaming myself. and whatever. well about an hour and half later the ultra sound tech came in and said the dr wanted to do an ultra sound and just check to make sure everything was gone or if id have to stay and get cleaned out basically...and it confirmed i was definately pregnant but the tech said well it looks like you are gonna pass it but i cant say that officially the dr who is looking at it will come and tell you the results soon...so we waited about 30 minutes to an hour...well guess what im apparently 8 weeks pregnant and am on strict bed rest i lost too much blood (10 pounds worth) and im in danger of losing the baby but i have a 50/50 chance of not if i go home and do just absolutely nothing. so this is what i am doing. im having another baby! what!? so crazy and totally not planned. please pray that the baby makes it because we are done after this one. we cant do this anymore. i have always wanted 4 (wasnt planning on even trying for another year) and was told already that im going through early onset menopause. but they said that it wasnt anything i could have controlled...my blood is opposite of the babys. thankfully i have a universal doner hubby. they gave me 2 shots one for the blood and another for the pain and i was able to go home. but every pregnancy has been worse. and me and him just cant emotionally take it anymore...neither can the rest of the family both sides mine and his...but if this one makes it we are getting that spring thingy done...they shoot a spring that grows your tubes together and prevents you from getting pregnant permanently and its not reversible. i fought it last time cuz i wanted just one more baby if we could. but im not fighting it any more. my heart cant take this emotional stress any more. but anyways thanks for all the prayers and even though we were joking about it HAHA it turned around on us and now the joke is on us when the dr was like SURPRISE you are 8 weeks pregnant. Now its the fun task of getting medicaid (which ive been put on the urgent list maybe that will speed them up) and getting in to seeing dr. booker. wow. im still trying to take it all in and rest of course.

hubby just texted and said i have an appointment at 10 am friday! wow i guess urgent means something!